Katane-Chan's LiveJournal

Song/Poem: Like A Star

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:35:40 GMT

Like A Star

Wandering the woods of the night
losing you out of my sight
You're drifting away
Please, baby, stay
- I need you

I hear your voice in the night
I see your face in the light
My heart is screaming
Nightmares - not dreaming
- I need you

Like a star in the night
still shining bright in my eyes
I'm going crazy babe
thinking of all the lies

My eyes are blurry

I taste the salt

Tears filled with worry

It was my fault

- I need you

Like a star in the night
still shining bright in my eyes
I'm going crazy babe
thinking of all the lies

Dealing with hurt and regret

And words that I cannot take back

Why can’t I just press ‘reset’?

Although we can’t go back on track

- I miss you…

Poem: Broken Wings

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:30:34 GMT

These crystal clear tears that I now cry
are caused by an angel who just wishes to fly

But this angel of whom I speak has broken wings
she’s now afraid of her future and what it brings

She knows that her life must end and why
because an angel without wings is destined to die

Her facial expression shows nothing but fear
and that is why I am shedding a tear

A life has ended – another angel fades away
it hurts to know, though a new is born every day

Short Story: Dead Boy’s Poem

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:21:39 GMT

Dead Boy’s Poem
A short story by
Katane-Chan

Foreword

Being in a country of war is something one doesn’t want. You hear explosions all the time, people screaming, children crying – and most of all, you see blood. So what would - and should - one do? One option is to immigrate to another country. Another option is simply to stay.
To immigrate, though, can be a very hard task. One needs to go through a lot of things, but in the end, one might have to travel back to where he/she came from.
The second option, which is to stay, is the risky one. If there’s a war going on, there’s also a big chance of getting killed. Making a choice like this is more difficult than anyone could imagine. Of course one wants to leave, but what about the friends and the rest of the family that would be left behind? Plus; it’s one’s mother country – it’s where he/she grew up. That thought weighs a lot, when making a decision. But one must always think twice.
When immigrating, it’s like playing a game – those having control are treating one like puppets; they can basically do whatever they want. Even if some immigrants live up to some requirements, they can still be denied access to the country. They take one’s life away and ruin one’s family. It sounds terrible and it is terrible!

One survivor. One secret game.
One hero with an anonymous name.

A quest for success. A quest for love.
A quest that was given from the gods above.

A life that was taken. A life that you stole.
A life that once made the hero’s heart whole.

A poisoned drink. A poisoned mind.
A poisoned hero that acted in blind.

One murderer. One secret game.
One devil with an anonymous name.

***

Dead Boy’s Poem

I was born and raised in Vietnam and came to the states when I was about 9 years old. I'm now 19 and an illegal immigrant. I can’t work or go to school like the rest of the kids around me, but is instead stuck with nothing to do. The American dream tells us, that in this country nothing is impossible if you work hard, demonstrate resilience, act with integrity and persevere. For many immigrants those dreams and hopes brought them to America, to this world, to this land of endless possibilities and to many a land of perfection. I could possibly do anything that I wished for, in this country, but with a status like mine, it’s not possible. “How I wish I never got a taste of the American dream” was one of my many thoughts - and this is my story.

My dad, who brought me to this country in the first place, found a new woman – an American – after the divorce with my mom, whom I lost all contact to. My dad and I therefore settled down in his new girlfriend's small apartment. It was great. I thought everything was going to be okay now – that we had overcome the worst difficulties. But I was wrong. One day, my dad got killed in crossfire. It happened when I was about 15. I still think about him every day. It was very hard to let go in the beginning. I would curl up and cry on his pillow every night because it smelled like him. I would bury my face in the shirt he had worn the day before and just sob. “How could he be gone?” I thought. I could still smell him. This was one of the last remaining parts of him. At that time I felt as if life had no meaning - my heart and soul were shattered. I would fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning, praying this was just a dream. Every day I had to face reality; he was gone forever, and to ease my pain, I started writing poems – I had to let my feelings out in some way and found myself coming to an ease when scribbling down words, turning them into something creative and beautiful – something with meaning:

A rising sun – a purple line – creates a beautiful life which has now begun
A dangerous mind – caught in darkness eyes – reveals itself and its evil kind
A runaway – an escape from the dark – inside the huge maze of night and day
A lost love – an aching heart – who was sent to the angels of high above

This one is just one out of many. I still write a lot of poems, even though it’s been four years since my father died. His girlfriend threw me out not long after, by the way, so I am left alone in this huge country, which was supposed to hold my dream, but unfortunately didn’t. I began wondering what to do next. I knew that someday, the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement would take me in, so I started hiding. I usually slept at different train stations and I sometimes had to steal, just to get something to eat. The street had become my home. It was no use though; they caught me at night, while I was sleeping, and sent me right to prison, which is now my current location. I’ve been here for about two years by now, I think. Sitting in a tiny prison cell nearly all day long is life draining. All I wanted was to live in this country as a free citizen, not a prisoner. I know that it sounds impossible, since I’m an illegal immigrant, but still, that was my wish.
I’ve been here too long. My soul has died a bit, day by day. It’s time to get out – to leave. I’m writing my last poem:

Now, as I lay here in the dark
And I think back to the start
I know some things have to end
For the next one to begin

This life is filled with hurt
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break

There's a fine line
Between love and hate
The times hardened up my heart
Now, as we stand two worlds apart

When happiness doesn't work
Desperately, I will crawl
From a world of no regrets
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

As I burn another page
Hold the candle to the flame
As I look the other way
Light the ashes in the rain

I feel the pressure letting go
From the very bottom of my soul
When happiness doesn't work
Anger and agony
Are better than misery

Waiting for so long
I still try to find my place
I walk alone free at last
I walk the line on broken glass

And I don't mind
Pain, without love
Just let me say that I like that

No love, there is no love
I like that
‘Cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all

This is the end of the line
This is my funeral

My Diary of Pain

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 09:27:13 GMT

Now, as I lay here in the dark
And I think back to the start
I know some things have to end
For the next one to begin

This life is filled with hurt
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break

There's a fine line
Between love and hate
The times hardened up my heart
Now, as we stand two worlds apart

When happiness doesn't work
Desperate, I will crawl
From a world of no regrets
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

As I burn another page
Hold the candle to the flame
As I look the other way
Light the ashes in the rain

I feel the pressure letting go
From the very bottom of my soul
When happiness doesn't work
Anger and agony
Are better than misery

Waiting for so long
I still try to find my place
I walk alone free at last
I walk the line on broken glass

And I don't mind
Pain, without love
Just let me say that I like that

No love, there is no love
I like that
‘Cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all

This is the end of the line
This is my funeral

_____________________________

A/N:
I wrote this poem by mixing the following songs:
- My Funeral
- Pain
- Diary of Jane

I just thought I wanted to share it with you guys..
Also; if it's not too much to ask, I would really appreciate if you could leave a comment and let me know what you think <3 <3
Thank you for reading <3

Dancing in the Dark - Chapter 1

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 17:01:56 GMT

Title: Dancing in the Dark
Author: katane-chan
Rating: PG-15 (I think...?)
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Drama and attempted Angst
Length: Chaptered (1/?)
Pairing(s): YunJae, YooSu, MinHo
Warnings: Violence
Summary: How does it feel, when you suddenly one day realize that you're different than everybody else? Yunho is being the victim to this state and he also goes through alot else in his teenage years. One day he meets a boy that turns his life upside down.

A/N:
1) When writing the prologue, I asked whether or not I should continue with this fic, so since I got good response, I have now created chapter 1.
2) Starting from here, the story will take place in Yunho’s past and will throughout the whole fic work its way up to present time.
3) I must once again apologize if there are any grammar errors.

Now I’ll stop with all my talk and let you read.
Please enjoy! :]

Chapter 1:

“Yunho!”

A loud knock on the door helped my eyelids to slid open. A beautiful sight of the nature and the morning sun met my eyes as I looked out of the window. A new day was ahead…

“Yunho! Are you up yet?! You’re going to be late for school!”

… and the same routine.

Sighing, I let out a tired answer. “Yes mom! I’m awake!”

The truth was that I was actually on the verge of falling asleep again. For some reason I really wanted to skip class today. I guess that’s the outcome of staying up too late when you have to attend school the next day. Oh well, I’ll manage – as always.

I got up and started to prepare for school.

***

I reached the school, walked to the class room and sat down at my usual spot. To my right, a boy with slightly wavy hair, sat. He scribbled down some words on a sheet of paper. I’m sure that it was lyrics – he always writes lyrics.

The boy stopped what he was doing and looked up at me.

“So, how are we doing this morning? You seem a bit tired.”

“Well… I guess I just stayed up too long last night.” I replied.

“Oh~ what were you doing?” A slight smirk had crept to his lips.

“That’s none of your business” I said with a flat tone.

“So it’s too private that even your friend can’t know about it? Come on! Tell me!” he pleaded.

“Park Yoochun!” I shot back.

That boy is just way too curious. Soon I might be calling him ‘Nosey-parker Yoochun’ instead. He’s always interested in what I’ve been doing… But besides all that, he’s a very nice guy and a very good lyricist; his major subject is music – songwriting/composing.

“Alright, alright. Then I won’t ask…” he pouted.

“Thank you…” I said with a relief, finally being able to get him to stop questioning me.

“But you know…” he started. “I will find out in some way or another…” and finished off with a smirk.

I let out a sigh. There’s no way he’s going to find out.

Minutes later, another boy took a seat – this time to my left.

“What’s up?” the boy to my left asked, practicing his English.

“Just tired, I –“ which was all I managed to say before the curious boy took over.

“He didn’t get enough sleep last night” he eagerly said and winked to the boy to my left.

“Chunnie, just because he didn’t get enough sleep, it doesn’t mean that he’s been doing stuff” the smaller boy stated.

“… I never said that” Yoochun smiled, which soon turned into a smirk.

I could see that the boy to my left was now blushing and he was trying to hide it.

“I… I was just saying it because of your way of thinking!” he nervously spat out.

Yoochun got up from his chair and ran to the other boy.

“Wah~ you’re so cute when you blush, Duck Butt!” Yoochun said while hugging him from behind.

“YAH!” the nicknamed boy yelled with a high pitch tone. “Don’t call me by that name!”

Junsu – Kim Junsu, to be exact - which is the nicknamed boy’s real name, has never been fond of being called ‘Duck Butt’, although his S-line says otherwise. His high pitch voice, on the other hand, makes him sound like a dolphin and he can imitate a lot of things. We should really name that boy ‘Kim Jun-zoo’…

Just like Yoochun, Junsu is a very nice guy. His major subject is music too, although that is for singing instead. Everyday you would hear him sing. He truly is a song-bird – and that makes my nickname for him fit even more.

“Yunho!” Yoochun said, snapping me out of my gaze.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” I answered.

“What’s occupying your mind?” the same boy asked.

“Nothing” I replied, trying to hold back my laughter as I recalled the names I just created for him and Junsu.

“Shh! The teacher is here!” Junsu spoke.

We then stopped talking and prepared for our English lesson.

-----

Having finished the English lesson, Yoochun, Junsu and I went to the canteen. We sat at our usual spot and talked about nothing specific.

Soon I noticed a boy, sitting not that far away, staring at me. He quickly turned his head away as I met his eyes.

“Hey guys…” I said, still looking at the unfamiliar boy.

“What?” both of my friends replied.

“… Who’s that guy over there?” I asked, motioning my head to point him out.

Junsu and Yoochun both followed my gaze to spot the guy I was talking about.

Junsu had no clue, but Yoochun thought he might be a new student.

“… I noticed that he keeps staring at me” I said with a low voice.

“Never mind him” Yoochun spoke. “Anyways, we should be heading for class”.

I took a glance at my watch and nodded.

We voiced a ‘see ya’ to each other and headed to class. Junsu headed to his singing lessons, Yoochun headed to his composing lessons and I headed to my dance lessons.

Yes, my major subject is dancing. It has always been a big part of my life.

So, I reached the dance studio, greeted everyone and went off to change into some more comfortable and loose clothes so the movements of my dancing would be easier.

When I came back from the locker room, one of my dance friends came up to me and started a small conversation.

“So, Yunho, are you up for today’s practice?”

“Oh, hi Eunhyuk” I replied. “Yes, I’m very eager to get started.”

“Sounds good”

“What about you?” I asked.

“The same as always: I’m always ready to rock the dance floor” he smiled.

“Of course” I said, laughing.

As the instructor entered the room, we got ready and lined up.

We were soon being given new dance steps and instructions to work on.

Then practice began.

I worked hard to get the new steps right. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to dancing. I would always practice to keep my moves perfect. Although, today seemed to be different. I was suddenly getting a headache while dancing, which caused me to step out from practice.

I headed to the restroom and turned on the faucet. I needed to cool myself down, so I cupped my hands and gathered some water, which I splashed in my face.

Turning my gaze towards the mirror, I started thinking. How come I suddenly got a headache? I usually don’t get headaches from dancing. And what’s with the boy that keeps staring at me?

It sure is a weird day today.

These thoughts became my very last before my surroundings disappeared.

***

It was all dark. I couldn’t see anything. Where was I? The feeling of not knowing scared me. Though, deep inside the back of my head, I knew. For some reason I actually knew. I wanted to open my eyes, but they wouldn’t listen. Instead, they wanted me to stay in the dark - make me feel uncomfortable.

Suddenly I saw a silhouette of two persons standing in front of me. They were like ghosts – dark souls. It scared me. It scared me to death.

A voice started to gather in my head, but I wasn’t able to form any words. Who was the person speaking? The recognition of the voice was gone too and was now fading away. My eyes became heavier and heavier.

The darkness had now consumed me.

-----

Four hours had gone by and I woke up in my bed, having a headache while feeling sick and confused. Again, I felt like a big question mark. I was supposed to know where I was, but I didn’t. I tried hard to remember, but with no luck.

Then it hit me - the feeling of something in my throat. I jumped out of my bed and ran towards the bathroom. I had to throw up.

So I did, but then another question popped up in my mind: if I didn’t know where I was, how come I could find the way to the bathroom just like that?

My mom came running. She had heard the noise.

“Yunho. Finally, you’re awake. Are you okay?”

My mom has always been very protective. She looks out for me and makes sure that I don’t get into trouble and that I do well in school. Well, a mother should be like that of course, but she had an extra reason.

My mom told me that she used to be the quiet girl in class with only a few close friends – just like me. Yes, even though I seem to be arrogant I’m actually the quiet guy in my class but I’m not the teacher’s pet, unlike my mother; she was the teacher’s pet, until that certain day.

My mother was still a student when she got me – 17 years old. I am what one would call ‘a mistake’. No, she was not raped but she and her boyfriend simply forgot to use protection and they decided to keep me. Their love for each other was so strong that they were determined about getting through this. And they did. They’re still together, which is kind of crazy to think about since I’m already 16.

“I… Where am I?” I asked. My mother then gave me a worried look.

“You’re at home.”

I didn’t respond. I merely took another glance around the room. This time, it came back to me.

“I know where I am now, but… what happened?”

My mom hesitated before answering.

“I actually don’t know. All I know is that this young boy found you lying on the floor in the restroom at school – shaking and eyes fluttering.” She turned her sight towards the boy standing in the doorway. “He was the one that brought you here” she finished.

I tried to smile but my exhausted state made it hard. “Thank you so much. I don’t even know how to repay you.”

The other boy waved his right hand in front of him, saying that there was no need for me to repay him – he was simply doing what had to be done, and before I could even say another word, he excused himself and left.

“A friend of yours?” my mom asked.

“… never seen him before” I replied, still staring at the spot where the other boy had been standing. Being in this state made it very hard to think – I still had an unclear mind.

Then I spoke again.

“Although he looks kind of familiar…"

A/N:

So… First chapter is written… I must say that it was really hard, but I guess the beginning is always the hardest part and I knew that I just had to start somewhere.

Also, since I like being creative, I tried to make a banner for this fic. Do you guys like it or should I change it? (And if anyone would try to make a banner for me, then please say so ^^)

Anyways; I hope you guys enjoyed it and will keep supporting me. I will try to do my best.

Comments are always loved! <3

(New fic) Dancing in the Dark - Prologue

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:23:56 GMT

Title: Dancing in the Dark
Author: katane-chan
Rating: PG-15 (I think...?)
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Drama and attempted Angst
Length: Chaptered
Pairing(s): YunJae, YooSu, MinHo
Warnings: Violence
Summary: How does it feel, when you suddenly one day realise that you're different than everybody else? Yunho is being the victim to this state and he also goes through alot else in his teenage years. One day he meets a boy that turns his life upside down.

A/N:
1) Not beta-ed so there may be some grammar errors, which I apologize for.
2) I tried my best to make a good prologue, but I think my attempt failed. This also resulted the prologue to be short.
3) Please give me your thought on this and tell me if I should continue this fic.

-----------

“Time passes by fast…” the main vocalist said, lying on the couch, while embracing me.

“Yeah… It’s been four years by now…” I replied, cuddling my head into the other man’s chest.

I could feel his heartbeat. Right now, I felt like it was only beating for me. Selfish, yes, but I don’t care. Love is a wonderful thing, so a feeling like this is natural, I’m sure of that.

“… and I’ll never forget” I added.

Jaejoong tightened the hold of me and assured that everything was going to be fine, and that it was the past, which we should try to forget.

“But how can I throw away the memories of meeting you?” I said, looking up to meet his eyes.

Jaejoong just stayed silent, but showed a couple of red cheeks – he was blushing.

I continued my speech. “You know… Even though the road may have been tough, I’m happy that I got through… and all because of you.”

I moved up so I was only mere inches from his head and looked into his big beautiful doe eyes before catching his lips. I gave him a long and caring kiss. When I pulled away, I spoke again. “I love you.”

Jaejoong mimicked my actions. “I love you too.” He stayed silent for a couple of seconds before continuing. “But I still want you to try and forget. I don’t want those memories to haunt you. It may be hard but please, Yunho, do this for me?”

I sighed and hesitated. “I will try…”

Drawing of Junsu

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:30:26 GMT

Okay, so I made this attempt on drawing Junsu.
I can't really decide whether it came out good or not .__.
Please don't kill me! *hides*

*click to enlarge picture*

.. and I know it's a bit dark ._.

Here's the original:

*click to enlarge picture*

X Loves X

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:51:27 GMT

Well, instead of asking someone about who they think should be together of DBSK - or something like that - I made a little test of my own ^^

It was actually kinda interesting xD

Jung U-know Yunho
Kim Hero Jaejoong
= 82% !! (YunJae all the way xD)

Kim Xiah Junsu
Park Micky Yoochun
= 63%

Kim Xiah Junsu
Shim Max Changmin
= 2% (Hmm..)

Shim Max Changmin
Jung U-know Yunho
= 63%

Shim Max Changmin
Park Micky Yoochun
= 63%

Jung U-know Yunho
Kim Xiah Junsu
= 63%

Jung U-know Yunho
Park Micky Yoochun
= 36%

Kim Xiah Junsu
Kim Hero Jaejoong
= 43%

Kim Hero Jaejoong
Park Micky Yoochun
= 63%

It's hard to explain, but this is how I did it:

1: Found the two persons i wanted to test

2: Wrote as following:
[name]
loves
[name]

3: I then counted all the L's, O's, V's, E's and S' in the names and calculated.

An example:

Eunhyuk
loves
Leeteuk

L:1
O:0
V:0
E:4
S:0

The numbers are set up this way starting from L:
10040

Now you plus 10 (1+0)
Then 00 (0+0)
Then 04 (0+4)
Then 40 (4+0)

That would give us this result:
1044

Then you continue doing that, until there's two remaining numbers:

1044
148
512
63

In this case, Leeteuk and Eunhyuk matches 63%

If you still don't get it, but want to know, you can always PM me ^^ Then I'll try to explain further ^^

My First Fanfiction! o_o

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 15:25:19 GMT

Title: Loving You
Chapter: One-Shot
Author: katane_chan (me xD)
Pairings: YunJae and YooSu
Rating: NC-17?

Note: Since this is my first fanfiction, I know it's probably not very good. I also thought about adding a bit more to the story, but in the end I decided not to do. I have two versions of this: one with the text more separated (the one I'll be posting) and one where it's more connected.
I will not be writing a summary since it's a One-Shot and also quite obvious ^^"
Anyways; Please enjoy!
Comments are always loved! <3 Especially since this is my first fanfic ^^"

I could hear the sound of applause after our name was mentioned. It made me become more excited. It made us become more excited, as always.

And so, we entered the stage, causing more than thousands of fans screaming!

“Great job guys”, Yunho said.

We then gave each other a group hug, went back to our backstage room and gathered in the sofa, followed by silence. Every single one of us were exhausted, but Dong Bang Shin Ki did it again: another great performance!

“…Do you guys remember when we first started performing”, I said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah. And come to think of it, it feels like yesterday but then again, because of our close and strong bond it also seems like ages ago”, Yoochun replied.

“It feels like having an extra family”, Changmin added.

A bit of silence then appeared again.

“How come you suddenly thought about that Jaejoong?” Yunho asked.

I didn’t really know how to reply, because it just popped into my head.

“Well, I don’t really know. Maybe it’s just because that every performance reminds me of when we first debuted,” I said, not looking at Yunho but at my hands that were placed on my lap. For some reason I haven’t been able to look Yunho in the eyes lately…

“I wonder…” I suddenly thought out loud, which at the same time made Yunho react. “What?”

It really wasn’t my intention of saying it out loud and now I could only feel myself blushing. When I looked up, I found all the other members staring at me, and when my eyes fell on Yunho, it made me stand up and walk towards the bathroom. In the exact same moment we were called at by our manager. It was time to leave.

Saved by the bell…

***

The ride home had been long and silent. Everyone was tired, but luckily we had finally reached home. Junsu was the first to leave the car, followed by Yoochun, Changmin and then me, but before I was able to get out of the car, Yunho suddenly grabbed my arm, which made me look back at him with wide questioning eyes.

“Jae – hold on a sec.” he then said. “I need to talk to you”, still holding on to my wrist.

It took me a moment before replying.

“About what?” I asked, while Yunho finally let go of my wrist, while leaning back in the seat. I sat down on the opposite side, facing him directly.

“You’ve been acting strange towards me, Jae…” he suddenly said, staring at me with his beautiful brown eyes. Yunho’s eyes were indeed captivating. Everything about him was suddenly captivating. My eyes took a glance at his lips, which made me get a weird feeling.

“Jaejoong!” Yunho broke the trance I apparently had been in without knowing, now looking in his eyes again – this time paying more attention to his words.

“I’m sorry” not knowing what else to say to him. Then I felt my cheeks getting warm. Was I blushing again?

“Jae, your face is all red. Are you okay?” Yunho asked with a bit of worry in his voice, while looking at me with also worried eyes.

I was unable to talk. Unable to do anything, even though there was no reason for that. My vision suddenly became blurry, and before I knew, tears were running down my face. I didn’t notice it before Yunho once again spoke.

“Why are you crying?” he said with a very low voice, while leaning towards me. The ability to speak just wasn’t there. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t. It was as if my voice had disappeared – had been sealed away. And then it happened. I felt his soft beautiful hands on my face, wiping away my tears.

“No matter what it is, you can tell me Jae.”

Yunho now leaned more forward and kissed me on the forehead.

“Yunho… No…” I said with a trembling voice, almost not able to hold back the rest of my tears.

He now faced me again, still holding his warm hands on my cheeks.

“It’s okay. It was just a friendly kiss on the forehead” Yunho said with a soft smile.

“I…” trying to answer but cut off by Yunho.

“If it had been a kiss on the lips…” he said with a very soft voice and began moving towards me again. This time so close, that our breath met and created a heat. Our foreheads and noses were touching, but not our lips. Well, that was until Yunho made the final move. He leaned in further so our lips brushed, looked me in the eyes and then… kissed me. I wanted to push him away, but this feeling had made me weak. Was this feeling really what I’ve been fearing and at the same time what I wanted?

The soft and passionate kiss Yunho sent from his pink lips, while moving his hands slowly down my arms and landing at my waist, made me shiver. He pressed my body against his, making the kiss and atmosphere more intense. I was now trapped. I could do nothing but surrender – give in and let Yunho lead. He made me return the kiss – made me put my arms around his neck and slide them slowly and light down his back. It made Yunho shiver, which I could tell from the gasp he let out, causing him to break the kiss. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards me again, continuing the kiss.

I couldn’t control my actions. My mind was blank… and so was Yunho’s.

-----

“Where are they? They’ve been gone for about half an hour now.” Junsu said.

He was not the type who would get worried only after that little amount of time, but this time he was. Maybe it was because of exhaust that he was being so emotional. He was worried that something might have happened to Jaejoong and Yunho.

“Just calm down Junsu. They’ll probably be here any minute.” Yoochun could feel the worry Junsu had. Yoochun himself was no better. He walked towards Junsu, put his arms around his waist from behind and rested his head on Junsu’s shoulder. “And I’m sure they’re just fine.”

“I really hope so,” Changmin added, “because Jae-hyung makes the best food! ...and I’m hungry.”

Changmin’s comment made both Junsu and Yoochun stare at him with wide eyes. His comment just wasn’t appropriate for the current conversation and situation.

“I was kidding! Of course I’m worried too!” the boy stated.

The silence interfered and tears began running down Junsu’s face. He turned towards Yoochun and hugged him tight, cuddling his head into Yoochun’s shirt. This only made Yoochun tighten his hold of Junsu.

-----

“We… we shouldn’t be… doing this” I managed to stutter with a bit of control coming back to my mind. Yunho had locked the doors and removed my shirt. He whispered in my ear:

From the start you were sweetly, naturally attracted to me

He then started kissing my neck – making me moan - and moved down across my chest, all the way down to my navel. His hands followed, making my body shiver once again of the light touches of his hands on my skin.

I finally had enough. I pushed Yunho to the opposite seat – and followed him. He looked at me with surprised eyes.

“Wha-“

Instantly I broke his words with an intense kiss. It was my turn to lead now. While removing Yunho’s shirt, I broke the kiss only to move it to his neck, which seemed to be one of his soft spots also.

“Jae… ahh… no…” and let out a loud moan. I stopped and let a smirk show on my face, followed by a whisper in his ear:

In your dreams I control you with my magic spells

I then continued; licking his earlobe followed by kissing his neck again. Like Yunho, I moved the kiss down – across his chest, all the way to his navel.

-----

Another 30 min. had passed. Changmin had gone into his room, probably to not think about the issue with Jaejoong and Yunho being gone. Junsu and Yoochun were still in the living room. They were sitting on the couch. Well, Yoochun was. Junsu on the other hand, was lying on the couch with his head on Yoochun’s lap.

“It’s been another 30 min. and they’re still not here, Yoochun!” Junsu was still very worried about the two oldest members.

“They’ll be here, don’t worry!” Yoochun said, trying to calm down Junsu. But it only made it worse and Junsu continued.

“No, Yoochun! I’m going crazy about this! We haven’t even heard from them! I –“

Yoochun didn’t know why. He was surprised by the way he finally made Junsu shut up. It just happened. It felt as if he was drawn to Junsu. It felt right. He kissed him… and it felt right.

Junsu was more than surprised. He immediately pushed Yoochun away, who started to get tears in his eyes, and stared at him with wide eyes.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Junsu. I shouldn’t have done that.”

With an ashamed look on his face, Yoochun got up from the couch and started walking away towards his room. What was he thinking? Did he even think? Before he could even run more questions through his mind, Yoochun felt a pair of arms clinging to him, tight around his waist.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know what to do and… it really wasn’t my intention to make you cry.”

Yoochun loosened Junsu’s grip and continued walking towards his room, not saying anything.

-----

He had fought back now. Yunho was trying to show his leadership – that he was the leader when it came to this also. I gasped and then smirked.

“Showing your leadership, huh?” Yunho took a quick glance at me.

“I’ll show you leadership.” He then rubbed my pants at the place where my length was covered and while doing that, he moved his head towards my ear and whispered once again:

you want me,

you’ve fallen for me,

you’re going crazy for me,

you are my slave,

I got you under my skin

Continuing the rubbing, which had caused me to let out a soft moan, he now started untying my belt with his other hand. I let a hand slide through Yunho’s dark hair and held it tight. Yunho, on the other hand, had now untied my belt and was sliding a hand down my pants to feel my hard length.

“Yun…ho…!” I let out a loud moan, while tightening the hold of the leader’s hair.

Yunho’s face expression showed that it had hurt a bit. I loosened my grip and Yunho moved his head closer to mine again, still having one hand down my pants. He placed his second hand at the back of my head and kissed me. This time he made a move with his lips, asking for permission to enter my mouth with his tongue. I replied by opening my mouth a bit. It was weird – the feeling. I had never thought that I would be kissing Yunho like this. No - I had never thought, that I actually would be kissing him ever!

The hand Yunho had put down my pants, was now sliding back and forth around my length. It caused me to let out a very loud moan and at the same time breaking our kiss. Yunho still held his head close to mine. He brushed his nose tip against my cheek and placed small kisses with his soft lips. The leader made the motion of his hand faster. I felt the heat rising in my pants. Clinging my nails to Yunho’s back, I let out another loud moan. I was just about to cum, when Yunho stopped.

“I won’t let you.” He said with a teasing voice. “What would Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin not say if they saw cum on my shirt?”

Yunho removed his hand from my pants.

In the middle of my exhaust, a question that had not been thought about, suddenly popped into my head.

“How are we going to tell the other members?”

Yunho was now thinking like crazy, but couldn’t come up with an idea.

“I guess we just have to tell them straight out.”

I agreed.

The leader was now sitting next to me. I was tying my pants and suddenly the leader spoke.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it earlier.”

I looked at Yunho and gave him a soft smile.

“You realized it now and that’s what matters to me.”

Yunho smiled and nodded in return. I leaned in to kiss him on the lips and spoke again afterwards.

“We better go inside. The others are probably wondering where we are.”

Yunho smiled and finished the conversation.

“You have to open the car door and the main door for me… If you know what I mean?”

I let out a small grin and nodded, knowing what he meant.

-----

Junsu didn’t know what to do. His thoughts were running wild. For some reason, he actually wanted to return the kiss, but the sudden move Yoochun made, was a chock to him.

What was he supposed to do now? Should he go and find Yoochun to discuss what happened or should he just leave it? If he was to discuss it with Yoochun, the situation might worsen, but if he didn’t do anything about it, their next meeting would be beyond awkward – plus, it might be hard to find an appropriate time later to discuss the issue.

Junsu made up his mind to confront Yoochun. With a worried and confused mind, he walked towards Yoochun’s room. He hesitated before knocking on the door.

“…Yoochun, c-can I come in?” he asked with a low and awaiting voice, but he didn’t get any response.

Junsu tried again, but still no luck. Silence appeared and Junsu was about to give up, when suddenly he heard a voice from inside the room.

“You can come in…”

Junsu slowly opened the door and was glad that Yoochun didn’t ignore him. He closed the door behind him. Again, silence appeared, which Junsu found very uncomfortable.

“Yoochun, I-“

The man who was sitting on the bed didn’t allow Junsu to finish his sentence.

“It really wasn’t my intention, Junsu. My mind just went blank and… I couldn’t control myself.”

Yoochun’s voice was trembling and he felt tears in his eyes.

“I never meant to do you any harm. I would never do that.”

Yoochun was now fighting to hold back his tears. He had promised himself not to break down.

Junsu’s feet made him move towards the sad man, whose back was facing Junsu. It was not intentionally, but he just couldn’t stop. He climbed onto the bed, embraced Yoochun from behind and leaned his head on the man’s shoulder. Junsu whispered into Yoochun’s ear.

“Thank you.”

Yoochun turned his head towards Junsu and gave him a questioning look. Finally their eyes met again. They hadn’t been able to look at each other since Yoochun had kissed Junsu.

Junsu moved his hands up, cupped Yoochun’s head and kissed him. It was a long and caring kiss. Yoochun was surprised but soon returned the kiss. Their lips pressed harder against each other, which their bodies now also did. Yoochun was now embracing Junsu and they held on to each other tight. Soon tears were running down both men’s cheeks. They knew their friendship was over and that they had to start a new, different bond.

The sound of a door opening and then closing, made Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun hurry to the living room. There they met the sight of Jaejoong and Yunho – holding hands, which the three worried members immediately set their eyes on. The only thing they could do was to stare.

Junsu was the first to break the silence.

“Where the hell have you guys been?!”

He ran towards the two oldest members and was now standing in front of them.

Yoochun was the next to speak.

“I think they had some things to discuss.”

It was said with a soft voice, while looking at the two oldest members, searching for an answer. Changmin, on the other hand, had guessed it immediately.

“Don’t tell me you guys are dating?”

Jaejoong and Yunho looked at each other, then turned their heads towards the other three members and nodded.

“I found out that the reason Jaejoong was acting weird towards me, was because he liked me.”

He was looking at Jaejoong with a little smile.

“As I… uhm… talked to him about it, I realized that I felt the same way, even though it hadn’t had any effect on me earlier.”

“So now we’re officially dating. Well, not exactly official, but you guys know.” Jaejoong added.

Junsu and Yoochun looked at each other, knowing what the other was thinking. They nodded.

“Actually…” Yoochun hesitated. “Actually, Junsu and I are dating too…”

Suddenly all eyes were on Junsu and Yoochun. This time Junsu spoke.

“We also just realized it. Our feelings, that is.”

Changmin suddenly felt left out and had the last word in the conversation.

“I really need to find a girlfriend…”

Getting started xD

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 14:03:56 GMT

Yay! The first post is out! ^^ I finally pulled myself together to write the first entry xD I'm not really sure what to write though ^^" I'm a newbie! xD Do I introduce myself or what? I don't know what to do xD
Well I can say that the purpose of this journal is mainly to post fanfictions for you guys to read. Therefore I'm also a bit nervous about how many people will actually read them and so on.. But since this journal is only for fanfictions, this also means that I won't be updating every day. It all depends on my inspiration of course XD
Anyways; I hope you enjoy your stay here XD *what a weird phrase to wite -_-" *

Alrighty... Since I don't know what else to write, I'm out.
- See ya ^^

Oh. Btw! I'f you have any requests or ideas for a fanfiction feel free to say so! ^^
And comments are always loved!! ^^